Monday, August 07, 2006

What does it all mean...in a dream?

I've been having some strange dreams lately. Last night I had several, but by now I've forgotten most of them. One consisted of a girl from my high school coming to me in tears. She was going through something and somehow knew I was a Christian. She said she had really been thinking about heaven and hell and how she was so scared of going to hell. Then she asked me for help and so I began to try sharing my faith with her and help get her on the right track to Jesus Christ. But I didn't feel confident enough that I was telling her the right things. It was very emotional. In the dream, I invited her to go with me to youth group or celebrate recovery or some kind of small group thing at my church. I told her I would call her. The details of it are fuzzy, but it left me feeling very sad and happy at the same time. I was happy that she was seeking and that she came to me for help. But I was sad because I felt like my words were letting her down and I would be responsible for the loss of her soul if she decided to stop seeking. When I woke up, I just wondered how she was doing in real life. I want to call her. I should call her. But then that human fear inside gets to me and I don't want to sound like a wierdo calling her in the middle of the summer, telling her I had a dream about her. But what if God is telling me something. Maybe she's in trouble, or in some kind of distress. I don't know...

Then there was a dream involving my two friends, Chris and Caitlin (They are together in real life). Chris and I were bringing Caitlin to work in her car. I was sitting in front with them. I was In the middle, with Chris on my right and Cait driving on my left. I was holding their hands (Chris' left, Cait's right so she could still drive). We passed by a playground on the way. I got excited and asked if we could go. We decided that Chris would bring me on the way back, after dropping Caitlin off at work. She seemed a little unsure about me hanging out with her boyfriend without her around, which is strange, because normally Cait knows that we're just friends. And Chris would never do anything with another girl, because that's what kind of person he is, loyal and dedicated to his friends. And of course, I'm with someone, too, so I wouldn't do anything. Just a crazy dream about me wanting to go play on the playground and dragging Chris along with me. Unfortunately, the dream ended before I got a chance to play on it. Awe... and it looked like so much fun!

Another dream I had was about a single moment in my future, an event that I long for. As much as I want to write about it, I'm not sure that I should. Not here anyways. It's one of those *blah! snatch! gulp!* things, I guess. Of course, none of you who read this will understand what I mean, save one person. But it's okay. I just need to wait and see what my Creator has in store for me. I can't rely on my dreams to tell me what's going to happen. Maybe they are messages from God. Maybe they are just thoughts of my own, being spewed out all at once in a twisted, subconcious version of things I want to accomplish or experience. I really don't know.

*sigh* It's getting harder...

1 comment:

Still Daddy said...

It is indeed getting harder. We must, therefore, continue looking to the Lord for the answers. For strength, wisdom and love through these difficult times. This is for Him to direct. Because it's His.