The Truth Will Set You Free

He is very good at using miscommunication against us. Words, sentences, sometimes whole convorsations even are misinterpreted. Because of this, anger or hurt can be given birth to. And they grow until an understanding is reached. If we don't get things settled, he just keeps using it to get his way. He just keeps feeding off of our weaknesses. And we don't even realize what he's doing most of the time because he hides himself.

Who am I talking about? Who is it that plays these tricks on us? Yes, the evil one.

The other night, Adam called my cell. We had planned to talk before bed, while making sure we would both get to bed early. He asked me what I was doing. At the time he called, I was in Kaylee's room with her and my mom. There was a show on, House, playing on my Kay's little TV. I was just sort of hanging out with them, watching the screen. I didn't know what was going on because I don't follow House, nor do I care to. I don't really watch television anymore. It doesn't catch my fancy like it used to.

Adam knows this. But when I told him that I was watching House with Kaylee and my mom, something inside him heard, "I'm busy watching your favorite show, while you have given it up to talk to me, but I will talk to you later." That is not actually what I said, but that is what was interpreted, and it hurt him. I then told him I was all ready for bed. So he said something along the lines of , "Oh, okay. I guess I'll talk to you later then." It was a very strange goodbye, but I wasn't sure why. I hadn't picked up on his hurt because I had no idea there was such a misunderstanding between us.

Later, when he called back, he was very upset. This time I picked up on it. I think he said something like, "How was House?" And I mentioned that I hadn't been paying particualr attention. Then I asked him if he was okay. He told me to wait. There was a pause. Then he came back and said that he had just needed a moment to cool down. It turns out he was actually angry when he called this time. But we figured out where the misunderstanding had been. I reassured him that I would never choose a television show over him. I would have much rather talked to him that try to figure out what was going on in a show I never watch. We both apologized for what had happened and went about our nightly, bedtime talk. Next time we will be more careful about letting Satan take his hold on us like that.

How easily we fall from Truth! That Truth was present the entire time, and yet we were deceived, fed a lie. That is how we fall. We trust a lie over Truth and get hurt. I hate evil. I wish to cling to what is good. I don't like feeling an unease between me and my love.

Let me say "I do" (to Jesus)

I should be in bed, but there is a toothbrush hanging out of my mouth. It is my excuse for now. I can't help it. I am wide awake. I guess that's what happens when one sleeps until half past noon. And as it is, there is lots on my mind. And I just feel like writing. Not for long, though, because I want to uphold my end of the bargain. Urbana is coming soon and this week is needed for rest to prepare. I also hope I have something else this week, regardless of its unpleasantness, so that I do not have to put up with it AT Urbana.

I'm trying out this new font. Or at least I think it's new. I'm not really sure what font my other entries are in. Actually, I'm not even sure if they consist of serifs or not. Whatever. This will do for now.

Oh, man! God is so good! It took I while to get where I am now, and I am still struggling to get closer to where I want to be, but God is good through all I've been though and what I must eventually come to.

And now I shall close with some lyrics from a Jars of Clay song called "Only Alive":

I'm a fair weather friend
I'm a colorless view
but I'm willin' to make a deal
If you think you can make some faith here inside
I'll drive off and marry you

I'm only alive with you
I can't get by and I won't get through
So put me in the river and let me say I do
I'm only alive with you

Cherry Scented (inspired by a night with Chelsea and Craig)

A woman exited her place of work one Friday afternoon. It was lunch time, and she wanted to try out the new deli down the street, instead of the diner she jogged five blocks to everyday. The deli was only two blocks away, and so she thought that if she liked it, she would be able to sit and eat slower before rushing back to work. Her cell phone rang half way there. She dug through her purse to get it. Just in time.

"Hello?"

"Judy? Hey, this is Linda."

"Oh! Hey, Linda! How is everything?"

Linda proceeded to thank Judy for the good work she had done on the last project. Judy was slowly moving up in her field. She was pleased. She was almost at the deli place when suddenly, two hands grabbed her from behind and pulled her into a quiet side street and into the empty doorway of an out-of-business jewelery store. The hands spun her around with great strength and pushed her against the door.

Staring Judy in the face was a man in a black ski mask with a gun in one hand. She was so stunned by all this that she had nearly forgetten to scream. So she started to scream, but the man aimed the gun at her face. He threatened to kill her if she didn't cooperate, and so she stopped.

"Listen, lady," he said forcfully. "Just give me your purse and you won't get hurt."

Judy handed over her purse with a shaking hand, not saying a word. He snatched it away and began rummaging vigorously though it. Finally, without warning, he shoved it back into her arms and insisted she had never seen him. Then he ran off into the distance. Judy was still in shock and breathing heavily until she heard Linda's voice yelling into the receiver, which snapped her out of it. She moved the phone back to her ear.

"Judy? Judy???"

"Yeah, I'm here," Judy replied.

"What in the world just happened?"

"I just got mugged."

"Dear, God! Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'll-I'll call you back, Linda."

"Please do. I'm so scared for you right now."

Judy hung up with Linda and proceeded to the deli. She went inside and sat at one of the little square tables. She had been very confused as to why the man in the ski mask didn't take her whole purse. She opened it and looked inside, expecting to find a wallet or something valuable missing. To her astonishment, everything of value was still present, but she remembered having seen him take something and shove it in his pocket before she saw what it was. She decided she had been lucky enough and didn't want to dwell on something so small.

Later that night, Judy entered her appartment and was greeted by her cat, Pete. She moved to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Before getting under the covers of her warm, comfy bed, she picked up her purse, looking for the very thing that would sooth her chapped lips. But she couldn't find her cherry scented chapstick anywhere. She knew she put it in her purse because she had just purchased it that morning on her way to work. Then it dawned on her that it was her chapstick that the man in the ski mask had taken.

Judy remained baffled for weeks. But somewhere in the city there was a man whose chapped lips were healed and smelling of cherry.

Donuts, Soft and White

When my sisters and I were little, our mom would put together a Halloween party each year for us and our friends. We did something a little different every year, sometimes bringing back games from the previous year. One of the games my mom thought up involved donuts, the big, white powdery kind from the super market. I don't remember if she got the idea from somewhere else or if she was inspired by something similar, but we had a lot of fun with it.

The game started out with a two donuts hung from suspended hooks (not fishing hooks, more like plastic hangers). The object of the game was for two kids to go head-to-head in a donut-eating race. Whoever finished eating his or her donut first won a prize. What made the donut game even more challenging was that you weren't allowed to use your hands. And so you kept them behind your back while racing. It was always entertaining to watch people ty to eat donuts while the hooks swung around wildly and hit them in the face, getting white powder everywhere. (I think I'd like to do stuff like that for my kids someday.)

Why did I suddenly recall this childhood memory? I'm not sure, but I think I'd like to incorporate it into one of my artworks in the future. Most likely sculpture of some sort.

I really like sculpture.

Need Sleep (Need God More)

Something is off, but I'm not quite sure what. I went to sleep at about midnight, right after Adam left. I must've slept for only two hours before waking up suddenly, without any particular reason known to me. I sat straight up, turned to look at the clock, and fell back into my pillow. I heard Chelsea and Craig talking. Not wanting to listen in on their convorsation, I closed my eyes and tried desparately to fall back to sleep, but I just couldn't. And I couldn't help but to listen to them talk. It was a spiritual topic they were on, so I must say I was intrigued, but I felt nosey still. Then I wondered, Did God wake me up so that He could talk to me through their words. Maybe. I think I did get soething out of it, but I can't really formulate exactly what. Then I had somewhat of a coughing fit and had to get water. I knew they must've been worried with all the noise I was making. But I went straight back to the pillow, fine again.

They prayed together, out loud. In my head, I prayed along with them. Then, for some reason, I just sat straight up, staring ahead at nothing, wondering what it was that was bothering me. Chelsea asked me if I was all right. I nodded. Craig asked if my breathing was okay. I nodded again. And I just sat there for a good two minutes, sort of dazed.

I laid my head back down and for some reason I began to cry. Not sobbing or loudly expessing sadness, just some heavy tears falling. Then with my eyes closed again, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I heard Craig playing Mary Had A Little Lamb by flicking his cheeks. They looked over smiling and joined me in laughter. Finally, they turned out the light and went to bed.

But here I am. I have not been able to sleep again. I am very much awake, though I don't know why. So by now I've gotten out of bed, sent my dad an email, and written a blog entry.

I wish I could figure out what's wrong with me lately. And, God? I miss you...

Flurries

The moment I pushed the door open to leave, I felt the chilled air surround me. It went for my hands, my ears, my face, my neck, and every other exposed place it could get to. I began to wish I had brought my scarf with me, but all that I had was a sweatshirt with a hood.

The journey home seemd much longer than usual, and all I wanted to do was get out of the cold as soon as possible. I made my way past the sculpture building, across the parking lot, and down the walkway towards the commons. I thought about retreating to the commons for warmth and food, but decided against it for whatever reason. The wind continued to sting my skin as walked.

I realized then that I was very foolish for having forgotten a scarf, and also that I should start wearing a coat. Even if I am running late for class or in a hurry to get somewhere, it would be so much more worth the effort just to take those few extra minutes to dress appropriately for the weather. But, oh, how I can't stand the cold!

And then something wonderful happened as I neared the back door of my building. I saw several small, white specks float by me. Snow flurries?! I didn't know for sure, but it was then that I saw the advantages of being cold. Sure I hate being cold, but without the cold weather, we would not have snow. I would be very sad if I never saw snow again.

When I got inside, I waited until Chelsea and Orie were ready to go to dinner. Finally, Chelsea and I headed outside to meet Orie. This time I brought a scarf. Upon exiting the building, we were captured by the millions of dancing snow flurries. They were light and gentle, and they whirled around us in the chilly wind. All the way to the commons they dazzled us with their wintery ballet.

I like snow. I am excited about the upcoming fun it has to offer, not only to me, but to everyone. And I cannot wait to see the flurries become splendid snowfalls.