Need Sleep (Need God More)

Something is off, but I'm not quite sure what. I went to sleep at about midnight, right after Adam left. I must've slept for only two hours before waking up suddenly, without any particular reason known to me. I sat straight up, turned to look at the clock, and fell back into my pillow. I heard Chelsea and Craig talking. Not wanting to listen in on their convorsation, I closed my eyes and tried desparately to fall back to sleep, but I just couldn't. And I couldn't help but to listen to them talk. It was a spiritual topic they were on, so I must say I was intrigued, but I felt nosey still. Then I wondered, Did God wake me up so that He could talk to me through their words. Maybe. I think I did get soething out of it, but I can't really formulate exactly what. Then I had somewhat of a coughing fit and had to get water. I knew they must've been worried with all the noise I was making. But I went straight back to the pillow, fine again.

They prayed together, out loud. In my head, I prayed along with them. Then, for some reason, I just sat straight up, staring ahead at nothing, wondering what it was that was bothering me. Chelsea asked me if I was all right. I nodded. Craig asked if my breathing was okay. I nodded again. And I just sat there for a good two minutes, sort of dazed.

I laid my head back down and for some reason I began to cry. Not sobbing or loudly expessing sadness, just some heavy tears falling. Then with my eyes closed again, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I heard Craig playing Mary Had A Little Lamb by flicking his cheeks. They looked over smiling and joined me in laughter. Finally, they turned out the light and went to bed.

But here I am. I have not been able to sleep again. I am very much awake, though I don't know why. So by now I've gotten out of bed, sent my dad an email, and written a blog entry.

I wish I could figure out what's wrong with me lately. And, God? I miss you...