You Lose Sleep When You Care

I'm sitting in my dormroom right now. It's 9:42pm. I was aiming for a 10:00 bedtime, because of such a tiring Monday. But the way things have worked out tonight might mean that bedtime won't be until later. I'm waiting for a call from Katie with information I need to reserve a room for IVCF this Friday. I unfortunately left the folder of info in my studio, and have no intention of walking back across campus to get it. Not at this dark hour. It's scary and I'm tired.

Today was long. From the moment I woke up this morning I was already wanting a nap. Italian. Studio work. Art History. Advertising. Just work all the way through. I didn't even nap in art history like I've been doing for the past week. Not that I should, it just happens when the lights go out and the slides come up. Today I kept myself awake so I'd stop missing notes. I almost fell asleep a couple times, though.

After Italian this morning, I got a call from Hawk Hall's Res. Director. It was about Intervarsity not being able to use the Hawk Hall Lounge anymore for our meetings, since it's not reserved, nor reservable. So being that I'm sort of in charge, and my name happens to be on most of the IVCF paperwork as who is in charge, she called me. It wasn't a nasty or uncomfortable conversation or anything. In fact, she was very nice and helpful in telling me we could reserve one of the nearby classrooms. And I was understanding of the policy, by God's grace. So it's fine that we have to reserve a room. It just happens to be one more thing on my list for the day. And right now I'm waiting on Katie for our account number so I can finally send in the application for the room.

It's 10:02 now. Sigh. That's okay. I allotted time for myself to be late, because I knew I would be. 11:00 is really the cut-off. I haven't blogged in a while. That usually happens once school gets going. I hardly ever have "extra" time for this stuff. I think a little update is in order, anyways.

So my goals... ya know, from the last entry. I've been slacking on them lately. Well, the first one, to create something new everyday outside of class, never really got off the ground in the first place. Once art projects came into the schedule, there was really no creative energy or time left in the days to follow, save the occassional doodles in the academic classes to keep myself awake. However, as far as the branching out of the comfort zone goes, I really have been trying new things. Yes, they are subject to current assignments, but nonetheless have been explorations for me. I've been pushing myself to work larger than I'm used to; I've been exploring techniques and various media with which to make my art; and I'm even starting to come away from the safety of following my reference exactly in order to explore what my style might really be.

For example, the first assignment I did for Advertising involved a French-looking chef about to throw fireworks into a pot of chili (illustrating a poster for the "red hot chili fesival"). My reference is just a picture of a friend of a freind, a student, holding cardboard tubes I had cut and covered in wrapping paper for fireworks. I pretty much fudged everything to get the look I wanted, which I didn't even know I wanted until I was doing it. The colors of the fireworks changed, the face of the chef was stylized with an added mustache, and everything else was handled pretty freely, without much reference. Background, chili, firework fuses. It was not like me to go in that direction as far as style, and it was nerve-racking to do so. But I did! And I had a pretty good critique!

As for the rest of the goals, I'll keep the update short. I'm actually going to bed after this because I finally got the info I needed for reserving a room.

Okay... so my God time has been little to none lately, which sucks because I started off the semester really well. I was doing morning devos, daily prayer, evening time in the Word, and more prayer. But I've been letting work and everything else get in the way. So prayer for me in this area would be appreciated, if you're reading this and you like to pray.

Get more sleep. That was going pretty well, too, for a while. Then I had two crits days apart from each other. Needless to say, I failed at my "no all-nighters this semester" goal. I've been off track of a decent sleep schedule ever since. Tonight I wanted it back, but then the IVCF thing needed to be taken care of. If it had been something that only affected me, and not the group of people that it does, I would have put it off. But I'm responsible. So... yeah.

I'm not really sure I've been saying no or not. But I don't feel as though I'm being stretched thin by tons of various things, just general things. Like class, homework, and IVCF. I'm still finding the balance, but I'm not overwhelmed. I'm sticking to what needs to be taken care of: what my role is as an IVCF leader (treasurer this year), what assignments are due, what papers need to be written. And of course, I'm in a full-time relationship. I make time for Adam on the weekends, and during the week we make phone time, with the understanding that sometimes things come up and we'll call each other back if need be. That's the only annoying thing, not being able to give Adam my full attention everytime we talk. It's basically like trying to have a conversation during a full-time job, and then some. Especially in the studio where so much is going on all the time.

Making time for people. I think this is something God's been showing me how to do. Sometimes I'll have a very specific schedule in mind for the day, what to do and when to do it. If I followed that schedule to a T, I might actually be ahead of the game, but I set things aside more now, so that I can talk to classmates and other friends to get to know them better. I can still buckle down and get work done, but I'm not getting consumed by it. Although, my God time reflects differently. Sigh.

Yeah, so I still need lots of prayer. My balance really isn't that great. God is still working, but I need to give up my whole self so that He can wholly work in me.

BED!!! 11:11PM!!!