I'm a Christian...and I AM living life

Are there really that many people out there who think Christians don't have fun? Or that we aren't living life to the fullest? It makes me sad when I hear that stuff come up. Like when a discussion of faith comes up, and the person of less faith, or no faith, mentions they don't see anything wrong with having fun and living life. That kind of hurts. Well, for me anyways. I don't think I'm missing out on anything. I have a blast believing in God! Jesus and me have fun together.

I've already had my share of "living life" and "having fun" and let me tell you, I was so empty in the midst of it all. No hope, no sense of purpose. I was depressed, just going for the feel good, running from my problems. I even had thoughts of suicide at times. But most of that was hidden by a mask of denial when I was with people. I hated it. I hated being depressed. I hated my parents fighting. I hated not fitting into the world's idea of beauty. I hated that my boyfriend at the time and I were so emotionally distant, yet so physically attatched. Yeah, it felt good. It was a nice change from all the pain. I believed in God sort of. I believed in being a good person, but never took God seriously. I never read the Bible or prayed. So much pain and emptiness, even more than I knew at the time. I've learned so much since then. And I never want to go back.

So am I living the "good life" now? Maybe not in the opinion of the world, but in Christ I am just in awe of all He's done and is doing. Am I a good person? No. I will never be. Only Jesus can change my heart in ways I never will be able to, constantly shaping me into the woman He created me to be. He gives me strength and hope to make it through each day. I sometimes forget and fall away, but He's always there, waiting with open arms for my return. What beautiful love! I don't think a hundred random sexual encounters or getting high on free pot or getting really buzzed during class could ever even compare to the pleasure and joy I've found in Christ. I don't stay away from those things because it's the law of God, for I do not live by the law. I live by faith, and because of my faith in Christ, who I love, I do not do those things. So much more I could say, but Paul says it a little better in Romans. And now off to sleep.

Good night.