What's a married artist to do?

I feel like such a bum lately. I know I'm not. I've been staying busy, painting and cleaning and the like. But part of me feels like I'm still being lazy. Like I should be doing something of greater importance. Like... I don't know what. Finding a job, I guess. Or figuring out how I can give private art lessons to kids. I know I would love that. But am I ready for it? I sometimes feel like I don't know enough, like I still need more lessons myself.

And what about ministry? What is God's will for my life? Is it okay that Adam is the only one making any kind of money for both of us? I mean, yes, I had a commission not too long ago and made a little from that. But now what? I like the art stuff I've been doing, but is it practical? I'm just experimenting anyway. Should I be working toward something with greater potential? Something I know works?

During the Night of Joy show, a lot of people came up to me to tell me how much they loved my work. It was mostly work from my senior show in college. I can't show the same stuff forever though. I need some fresh ideas. I need to be focusing on a new body of work. But what should I do? And what the heck will I do with it once it's done?

Think entrepreneurially!

Gah!

Chores Today

9:33 AM

I am thinking.

Longing

I feel...

Bored. Anxious. Trapped.

I am...

Waiting. Impatient. Longing.

I am searching for inspiration, something to motivate me. I want to create. I want to branch out. I just finished a commission for someone, but after all that drawing and painting, I am still not satisfied. I feel as though it was preparation for something else. I am certainly back in the painting spirit. The only question now is...

What do I paint next?

Perhaps I should give myself some sort of goal. Maybe pretend I'm a teacher giving an assignment to a class, only to do the assignment myself. Of course, I could revert to my usual strategy of making a list. That always makes me feel better. I will find myself brainstorming ideas, coming up with goals I'd like to accomplish, and so I write them down.

I think I will do that. I need something to move forward on. Anything.

Go!

1. Finish the book of Leviticus
2. Start an art ministry
3. Make a calendar: 12 illustrations, 1 for every month
4. Take more pictures of people, clouds, trees, and animals... and anything that would make a good picture
5. Make a meal schedule for each week; include lots of fruits and vegetables
6. Draw everyday. Anything and everything. Even doodle.
7. Walk more! Get exercise!
8. Recover all honeymoon photos and post them online for friends and family to see
9. FINISH WEDDING THANK YOU CARDS!!!
10. Finish silverpoint portrait of Vashti
11. Organize a girls night; make creative invitations
12. Christmas shopping; wrap each gift in a fun way
13. Brainstorm and add to the list
14. Pray more
15. Build a snowman this winter

So most of these are very broad, but it's a start. I feel better already.