So Chelsea and I went on our picnic today. We walk with my friend Lauren to Gengras for sandwiches and wraps or whatever, then were about to start walking a great distance to Elizabeth Park, but Lauren offered to drive us before she headed home. So we took the offer, figuring we would only walk back instead. When we got there, we wandered through the beauty of the outdoors, appreciating things that most people probably wouldn't even notice, like this one pinecone! It was great! And there were ponds and ducks and geese and birds and such. We found a nice corner of the park where there wouldn't be people too close to us, and we would be near these awesome looking tees. Seriously! They were some of the coolest trees I've erver seen!
Like this one in particular had such a strange trunk, the way it came out of the ground with the grass sort of starting to grow up the roots, just slightly, and the massive width and parts of it came out way more than others so there were all these ditchy looking spaces. And that was just the trunk! The rest of the tree was so tall and the braches extended out toward the sky so beautifully! We laid out the blanket and lied down on it. Looking up at the tree was such a treat, with the branched stretching across the bright blue, cloudless sky.
And there was a little woodpecker high above us in that tree, probably looking for bugs. It just so happened that everytime he pecked, bits of bark would fall off and come drifting our way. We got hit a couple times, but then he left.
We were eating Reece's Pieces at first, called Craig to leave a message for him, and talked some. As we ate our food, I noticed two elderly women sitting on a bench not too far from us. They seemed to be looking at us and discussing something, and they kept smiling in our direction. It got me thinking. I wondered if Chelsea and I would be like them some day, two women who have been friends for a long time and go sit on park benches and reminisce about being young together, or recalling their first encounter with each other back in college. Actually, I have no idea what their relationship was, but I sort of made up the story in my head as I observed them.
"Hey, Chels. Do you think that'll be us someday?" I asked her, referring to the two women.
"I was just thinking that," she laughed.
This led to our own conversation about the future, like starting families and having kids, how we'd visit each other and be aunts to each other's kids. Stuff like that. It was fun!
We also saw this cute couple on a picnic, occasionally kissing sweetly, then spooning later. There were also a young woman and a little boy on the road area. They seemed to be a mother and her son. They were so cute! He was riding one of those battery powered (or maybe electric) quads for kids. His mom rode around on it first to show him how, which was quite funny considering her legs were much too long for it. She then rode on one of those electric scooters, following him down the roadway one direction. Then they would return some time later, back in our view, and the son would be following the mom. We discussed that, too, about how cute they were.
There was also a cute family of a mom, a dad, and a baby boy. At one point he ran out into the street and mom had to get him. We said something about how our kids weren't gonna watch a lot of tv, or go the on computer all the time, but instead, we'd go on family picnics or go for walks.
Then at some point, we each had a leaf and were lying down, facing each other. We just started having a leaf battle, like a little sword fight without the blades. That went on for a good few seconds until we saw how corny it was and started laughing histerically!
Before we started the return journey, we played a bit of frisbee, barefoot, of course! Then we found a totally amazing creepy-looking, should-be-in-a-scary-movie tree! It's branches were all hanging down, touching the ground. We also found a pretty bathroom with flowers painted on the ceiling. On the way home, we looked at all the old houses and picked out all our favorite features, relating certain things to art. Every aspect of the day was amazing! From the weather, to the park, to the picnic, to the people, to the journey home. We got Fruit smoothies from Zia when we got back, too.
And everyone was outside enjoying the weather, playing Frisbee, listening to music, and just hanging out! It was incredible to see! To top off the day, we went to Bible study, and we ended up having it outside in the courtyard of Regents! Awesomeness! From there we went to dinner, where we watched CJ juggle two and two halves of an apple...only the halves were kinda together because... uh, nevermind. It was just cool! So then everyone decided to go to the orchestra concert at Lincoln Theatre. I headed back to my room first, then met up with them. Chels and I left a bit early, being tired from the long day, even though we hadn't done that much.
So anyways! That was my spectacular day! The day that completely cancelled out every bad thing about the week behind it! Wow! sorry this is so long again! Oh, well! Have a super day!
Peace and love!
Friday, March 31, 2006
A Picnic for a Field Trip!
Wow! Three entries in two days!
I am excited about today! I am supposed to be on my way to New York City right now with the Art School, but apparently Chelsea had been feeling down to and didn't feel like going on the trip. So we decided last night that we weren't going to go. Instead, we are going to take a very long walk and go on a picnic in a nearby park. As guilty as I feel about not going to NY to see museums like a good little artist, I would rather just not wander around the city all day without a plan of where to go. I'm sure I could have fun, but at the same time, I really don't want to miss Bible study because I missed Church last week and just really need to be with IVCF again to feel more...better. haha Anyways, I'm so excited about today! It's beautiful outside, I can do some work, go to art history(unless he cancels class due to the fact that more than half his classes are on the field trip), go on a picnic, go for a long walk, spend time with IVCF again, and just relax!
Something else good: I was talking to CJ online last night and already I feel pretty much completely over it. Everything seems to be back to normal, and I can still probably joke around with him and try to lick his face and stuff. lol Awesome! Wow! I feel so good! I'm gonna get of this computer now and enjoy the day!
Peace and love kids!
I am excited about today! I am supposed to be on my way to New York City right now with the Art School, but apparently Chelsea had been feeling down to and didn't feel like going on the trip. So we decided last night that we weren't going to go. Instead, we are going to take a very long walk and go on a picnic in a nearby park. As guilty as I feel about not going to NY to see museums like a good little artist, I would rather just not wander around the city all day without a plan of where to go. I'm sure I could have fun, but at the same time, I really don't want to miss Bible study because I missed Church last week and just really need to be with IVCF again to feel more...better. haha Anyways, I'm so excited about today! It's beautiful outside, I can do some work, go to art history(unless he cancels class due to the fact that more than half his classes are on the field trip), go on a picnic, go for a long walk, spend time with IVCF again, and just relax!
Something else good: I was talking to CJ online last night and already I feel pretty much completely over it. Everything seems to be back to normal, and I can still probably joke around with him and try to lick his face and stuff. lol Awesome! Wow! I feel so good! I'm gonna get of this computer now and enjoy the day!
Peace and love kids!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Post Spring Break
"Porcelain Heart"
Broken heart one more time
Pick yourself up, why even cry
Broken pieces in your hands
Wonder how you'll make it whole
[Chorus:]You know, you pray
This can't be the way
You cry, you say
Something's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine
Someone said "A broken heart
Would sting at first then make you stronger"
You wonder why this pain remains
Were hearts made whole just to break
Creator only You take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again
-Barlow Girl
I like that song, like most of the songs by Barlow Girl. I've kinda been singing this one in particular to myself lately. I guess I know why. Well, as some of you know, I was going out with this amazing guy, CJ. Yeah... He broke up with me the other night. But I'm okay with it... I think. At least I should be. I mean I'm not mad about his decision in anyway, but I really wasn't ready for it, and I didn't expect it so soon. I hadn't really picked up on any tension between us, but it is what it is. He's an amazing guy though, so it'll be cool to still be friends.
And a couple things that came of it are that I can focus just on school... and God. And I gained a close friend.
Actually, I've been feeling really strange lately, not like myself. I had an amazing Spring break with my friends and family the first part of the week. Then I had a blast in PA hanging out with CJ and his family. But even then, I dunno...
I love IVCF, of couse, but I can't help but going through these thoughts lately. Sometimes I'm like "How can God NOT exsist?! He's so awesome and everything is great even with the bad!"
But then other times I start to feel like I did a long time ago, before I was saved...when I stopped believing in God altogether. I don't want that to happen again! I need to believe so I can get through my days, especially the bad ones, knowing that I have a purpose and that God's always got a plan. Actually, I feel like crying right now, just for writing that. But I can't figure out this slump I'm in. Maybe it's just all the stress I've been feeling.
Speaking of stress and crying... Yesterday in my 2D class, the morning right after the night Cj broke up with me, I was doing okay. I was still a bit shook up from that, but I hadn't cried or anything, and I thought I was fine. I guess it hadn't completely sunk in. So, anyway... I had breakfast with some of my classmates before class, not talking much, just thinking. Then we got to the studio after having joked around and laughing on the way. Then I started thinking about all the work I had coming up: a 3D project due the next day along with 6 sketches for the next project, deciding on a good tool to do for drawing class the next morning, finding someone to interview on Vietnam for a big paper due Monday, and a doctor's appointment that day after art history which would take a good amount of time out of the day. Also, I had the Worship night on my mind, hoping we could get it worked out in time.
So I had all those things on my mind. Then I realized that someone I cared about a lot, who had made me feel so special, who would visit me in the studio when I would've been more stressed than if he wasn't there, who let me work on my mid-term still life in his room for 3 days straight, who I had just spent an amazing weekend with, just confessed he didn't want to be with me anymore. I guess that kinda sent me over the edge. Right before class even started, I felt the tears build up behind my eyes, so I ran to the bathroroom to calm myself down and pray. I tried to hide my face with my hair, but I think some people noticed anyway that my composure wasn't normal. But anyways, I sat at the computer to work on my ligatures, feeling very drained and not wanting to be there. I tried to keep myself collected, but everyonce in a while, I would retreat to the bathroom so as not to explode in class and disrupt everyone. I would just hang on to the sink or go into a stall to let out some sobs and tears for a few minutes. Then I would recollect myself at the sink, readjust my hair near my eyes, and return to work.
During the break, I sat outside and my friends gave me hugs to make me feel better. I love them all. Although, it was kind of funny when my friend Matt, who didn't know what was going on, came over and started playing a really sad-sounding song on harmonica. It just seemed to fit the mood I was in, so I broke down, sobbing everything I had left. I think I even tried to say a sentence which came out only in sobs, because they all started laughing at me, not trying to be mean of course, but it must've sounded ridiculous!
Anyways... so the entire day I just felt sad and drained. I didn't feel like eating lunch or being bouncy. And to add to it, I had my follow up at the doctor's, which didn't go very well in the sense that I hadn't been taking my medicine like I was supposed to, which was the whole point of the follow up: to see how the medicine was working. She wasn't very happy with that. So now I have another follow up in two weeks, meaning I have to take the medicine regularly now, and I hate it.
But today, I was feeling much better, though I still can't seem to stop feeling sad. I hope I come out of it soon because it's effecting my appetite and confidence in classes. I haven't been hungry much for anything and I've actually had to force myself to eat lately. I wasn't even in the mood for ice cream last night!
Some of the good things about yesterday:
-Saw my dad and got my interview with him
-Lauren came for the ride to the doctor's and we talked about famous architecture
-the doors to my dorm were both open like all day
-sat with Sammi, Dan, and their friend at dinner (and CJ came later)
-finished my 3D project early- like 10pm!
-Chelsea and Craig suprised me with flowers and candy
-Went to bed early- in bed by 12!
*sigh* Again, another very long entry from me, but this time I couldn't help it! A lot has happened. Today was better, but still kind of not good, even though the weather was amazing and I had fun with friends. If anyone can give me any advice on what to do about this feeling of saddness, I would appreciate it. Or any verses or qoutes to think about would be nice, too.
Thanx for reading if you did. Peace and love.
Broken heart one more time
Pick yourself up, why even cry
Broken pieces in your hands
Wonder how you'll make it whole
[Chorus:]You know, you pray
This can't be the way
You cry, you say
Something's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine
Someone said "A broken heart
Would sting at first then make you stronger"
You wonder why this pain remains
Were hearts made whole just to break
Creator only You take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again
-Barlow Girl
I like that song, like most of the songs by Barlow Girl. I've kinda been singing this one in particular to myself lately. I guess I know why. Well, as some of you know, I was going out with this amazing guy, CJ. Yeah... He broke up with me the other night. But I'm okay with it... I think. At least I should be. I mean I'm not mad about his decision in anyway, but I really wasn't ready for it, and I didn't expect it so soon. I hadn't really picked up on any tension between us, but it is what it is. He's an amazing guy though, so it'll be cool to still be friends.
And a couple things that came of it are that I can focus just on school... and God. And I gained a close friend.
Actually, I've been feeling really strange lately, not like myself. I had an amazing Spring break with my friends and family the first part of the week. Then I had a blast in PA hanging out with CJ and his family. But even then, I dunno...
I love IVCF, of couse, but I can't help but going through these thoughts lately. Sometimes I'm like "How can God NOT exsist?! He's so awesome and everything is great even with the bad!"
But then other times I start to feel like I did a long time ago, before I was saved...when I stopped believing in God altogether. I don't want that to happen again! I need to believe so I can get through my days, especially the bad ones, knowing that I have a purpose and that God's always got a plan. Actually, I feel like crying right now, just for writing that. But I can't figure out this slump I'm in. Maybe it's just all the stress I've been feeling.
Speaking of stress and crying... Yesterday in my 2D class, the morning right after the night Cj broke up with me, I was doing okay. I was still a bit shook up from that, but I hadn't cried or anything, and I thought I was fine. I guess it hadn't completely sunk in. So, anyway... I had breakfast with some of my classmates before class, not talking much, just thinking. Then we got to the studio after having joked around and laughing on the way. Then I started thinking about all the work I had coming up: a 3D project due the next day along with 6 sketches for the next project, deciding on a good tool to do for drawing class the next morning, finding someone to interview on Vietnam for a big paper due Monday, and a doctor's appointment that day after art history which would take a good amount of time out of the day. Also, I had the Worship night on my mind, hoping we could get it worked out in time.
So I had all those things on my mind. Then I realized that someone I cared about a lot, who had made me feel so special, who would visit me in the studio when I would've been more stressed than if he wasn't there, who let me work on my mid-term still life in his room for 3 days straight, who I had just spent an amazing weekend with, just confessed he didn't want to be with me anymore. I guess that kinda sent me over the edge. Right before class even started, I felt the tears build up behind my eyes, so I ran to the bathroroom to calm myself down and pray. I tried to hide my face with my hair, but I think some people noticed anyway that my composure wasn't normal. But anyways, I sat at the computer to work on my ligatures, feeling very drained and not wanting to be there. I tried to keep myself collected, but everyonce in a while, I would retreat to the bathroom so as not to explode in class and disrupt everyone. I would just hang on to the sink or go into a stall to let out some sobs and tears for a few minutes. Then I would recollect myself at the sink, readjust my hair near my eyes, and return to work.
During the break, I sat outside and my friends gave me hugs to make me feel better. I love them all. Although, it was kind of funny when my friend Matt, who didn't know what was going on, came over and started playing a really sad-sounding song on harmonica. It just seemed to fit the mood I was in, so I broke down, sobbing everything I had left. I think I even tried to say a sentence which came out only in sobs, because they all started laughing at me, not trying to be mean of course, but it must've sounded ridiculous!
Anyways... so the entire day I just felt sad and drained. I didn't feel like eating lunch or being bouncy. And to add to it, I had my follow up at the doctor's, which didn't go very well in the sense that I hadn't been taking my medicine like I was supposed to, which was the whole point of the follow up: to see how the medicine was working. She wasn't very happy with that. So now I have another follow up in two weeks, meaning I have to take the medicine regularly now, and I hate it.
But today, I was feeling much better, though I still can't seem to stop feeling sad. I hope I come out of it soon because it's effecting my appetite and confidence in classes. I haven't been hungry much for anything and I've actually had to force myself to eat lately. I wasn't even in the mood for ice cream last night!
Some of the good things about yesterday:
-Saw my dad and got my interview with him
-Lauren came for the ride to the doctor's and we talked about famous architecture
-the doors to my dorm were both open like all day
-sat with Sammi, Dan, and their friend at dinner (and CJ came later)
-finished my 3D project early- like 10pm!
-Chelsea and Craig suprised me with flowers and candy
-Went to bed early- in bed by 12!
*sigh* Again, another very long entry from me, but this time I couldn't help it! A lot has happened. Today was better, but still kind of not good, even though the weather was amazing and I had fun with friends. If anyone can give me any advice on what to do about this feeling of saddness, I would appreciate it. Or any verses or qoutes to think about would be nice, too.
Thanx for reading if you did. Peace and love.
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