You Lose Sleep When You Care

I'm sitting in my dormroom right now. It's 9:42pm. I was aiming for a 10:00 bedtime, because of such a tiring Monday. But the way things have worked out tonight might mean that bedtime won't be until later. I'm waiting for a call from Katie with information I need to reserve a room for IVCF this Friday. I unfortunately left the folder of info in my studio, and have no intention of walking back across campus to get it. Not at this dark hour. It's scary and I'm tired.

Today was long. From the moment I woke up this morning I was already wanting a nap. Italian. Studio work. Art History. Advertising. Just work all the way through. I didn't even nap in art history like I've been doing for the past week. Not that I should, it just happens when the lights go out and the slides come up. Today I kept myself awake so I'd stop missing notes. I almost fell asleep a couple times, though.

After Italian this morning, I got a call from Hawk Hall's Res. Director. It was about Intervarsity not being able to use the Hawk Hall Lounge anymore for our meetings, since it's not reserved, nor reservable. So being that I'm sort of in charge, and my name happens to be on most of the IVCF paperwork as who is in charge, she called me. It wasn't a nasty or uncomfortable conversation or anything. In fact, she was very nice and helpful in telling me we could reserve one of the nearby classrooms. And I was understanding of the policy, by God's grace. So it's fine that we have to reserve a room. It just happens to be one more thing on my list for the day. And right now I'm waiting on Katie for our account number so I can finally send in the application for the room.

It's 10:02 now. Sigh. That's okay. I allotted time for myself to be late, because I knew I would be. 11:00 is really the cut-off. I haven't blogged in a while. That usually happens once school gets going. I hardly ever have "extra" time for this stuff. I think a little update is in order, anyways.

So my goals... ya know, from the last entry. I've been slacking on them lately. Well, the first one, to create something new everyday outside of class, never really got off the ground in the first place. Once art projects came into the schedule, there was really no creative energy or time left in the days to follow, save the occassional doodles in the academic classes to keep myself awake. However, as far as the branching out of the comfort zone goes, I really have been trying new things. Yes, they are subject to current assignments, but nonetheless have been explorations for me. I've been pushing myself to work larger than I'm used to; I've been exploring techniques and various media with which to make my art; and I'm even starting to come away from the safety of following my reference exactly in order to explore what my style might really be.

For example, the first assignment I did for Advertising involved a French-looking chef about to throw fireworks into a pot of chili (illustrating a poster for the "red hot chili fesival"). My reference is just a picture of a friend of a freind, a student, holding cardboard tubes I had cut and covered in wrapping paper for fireworks. I pretty much fudged everything to get the look I wanted, which I didn't even know I wanted until I was doing it. The colors of the fireworks changed, the face of the chef was stylized with an added mustache, and everything else was handled pretty freely, without much reference. Background, chili, firework fuses. It was not like me to go in that direction as far as style, and it was nerve-racking to do so. But I did! And I had a pretty good critique!

As for the rest of the goals, I'll keep the update short. I'm actually going to bed after this because I finally got the info I needed for reserving a room.

Okay... so my God time has been little to none lately, which sucks because I started off the semester really well. I was doing morning devos, daily prayer, evening time in the Word, and more prayer. But I've been letting work and everything else get in the way. So prayer for me in this area would be appreciated, if you're reading this and you like to pray.

Get more sleep. That was going pretty well, too, for a while. Then I had two crits days apart from each other. Needless to say, I failed at my "no all-nighters this semester" goal. I've been off track of a decent sleep schedule ever since. Tonight I wanted it back, but then the IVCF thing needed to be taken care of. If it had been something that only affected me, and not the group of people that it does, I would have put it off. But I'm responsible. So... yeah.

I'm not really sure I've been saying no or not. But I don't feel as though I'm being stretched thin by tons of various things, just general things. Like class, homework, and IVCF. I'm still finding the balance, but I'm not overwhelmed. I'm sticking to what needs to be taken care of: what my role is as an IVCF leader (treasurer this year), what assignments are due, what papers need to be written. And of course, I'm in a full-time relationship. I make time for Adam on the weekends, and during the week we make phone time, with the understanding that sometimes things come up and we'll call each other back if need be. That's the only annoying thing, not being able to give Adam my full attention everytime we talk. It's basically like trying to have a conversation during a full-time job, and then some. Especially in the studio where so much is going on all the time.

Making time for people. I think this is something God's been showing me how to do. Sometimes I'll have a very specific schedule in mind for the day, what to do and when to do it. If I followed that schedule to a T, I might actually be ahead of the game, but I set things aside more now, so that I can talk to classmates and other friends to get to know them better. I can still buckle down and get work done, but I'm not getting consumed by it. Although, my God time reflects differently. Sigh.

Yeah, so I still need lots of prayer. My balance really isn't that great. God is still working, but I need to give up my whole self so that He can wholly work in me.

BED!!! 11:11PM!!!

From Scratch

Do you ever wish you could just push a button and start over? I mean with anything and everything. School, for instance, can get so hectic that I feel like I miss a lot of what's going on around me. How my friendships are going, or where they went. Spending time with God, too, has been difficult for me. I don't know why, but I just don't get into the Word the way I used to. And I hardly pray anymore, which is sad because I use to pray all the time when I got saved. Up until about two years ago, I was totally on fire for Jesus.

But there is no magical life button that brings you back so that you can do things differently or figure out what happened. There is new life though. Always another opportunity to change, even if it doesn't seem like much. Sometimes you just need to start from scratch, especially if you're not sure where you left off.

I'm going to make new goals for myself this year. I'm the kind of person who needs a routine to get me started. Luckily, I'm back at school, so having a schedule will be no problem. Now, it's figuring out where I want to set aside the free time for what's important, and make that time just as mandatory as going to class.

Here are some of my goals for this year:

1. Create something new everyday, outside of class.
Last year I had a small sketch book that I made my daily creativity journal. I made a point to draw or doodle or paste or write something in it everyday for the whole year. Some days were missed, some days were not very creative, and some days were just a forced 30 seconds of anything. But in the end, I was quite pleased with the results. I was glad to see it was possible for me to be creative on my own. This year I want to expand the idea, and not be limited to one size or surface. I want to branch out of my comfort zone and start diving into more experimental stuff. That doesn't mean the content will be the experiment, but more so what I use and how I use it to create the content. I used to be so risky in high school. With media, subject, style, technique... everything. Over the last few years, I sort of backed myself into a corner while I honed my skills technically. But now doing what I know will work has left me too scared to try what might not work. So this goal encompasses a lot more than just "making stuff."

2. Spend more time with God.
This includes reading the Bible, praying, and doing devotionals. I really want to get into the Word, not just skim it over. I want to apply what Psalm 1:2 says to my life, and really meditate on God's Word. And I want to find delight in reading the Bible, to get excited about it again. For prayer, I want to learn to pray every time I wake up in the morning, and thank God for giving me another day to breathe. And at night, before I go to sleep, I want to thank Him for getting me through the day. Surely there will be other things to talk to Him about, but I think those two prayers are a must and should help me to get used to going to God more than just the 2 minutes I might give Him one day out of the week. Hopefully, God will then teach me to talk to Him throughout the day as well, and not just set times of the day. And I definitely don't want to treat Him like an ATM GOD. He's so much more worthy than that. I'm actually wondering if I can combine the first goal with this one.

3. Get more sleep.
With this, I do a little better each year, but I want this to be the best year. I don't want to pull any all-nighters. I'm aiming for eight hours a night. I don't want senior year to intimidate me. I know there's a lot of work coming, but that's all the more reason to get decent sleep. I'll better avoid getting sick and rundown, and I'll be better focused if I've had a full night's rest. Being in a single this year should help. I can make my own bedtime without a second thought. I don't have to worry about where my roommate is or when they'll be back. If I want quiet, I can have quiet (within the room anyway). If I want music, music. If I want light, light. And I won't be distracted by conversation, or even tempted to talk about stuff that doesn't matter while I've got work to do. So digging the single this year!

4. Start saying "No."
I like to say yes to a lot. This year, I have to start saying no. That's all there is to it. (No, I know it's usually more complicated than that for me.)

5. Make time for people.
This may seem contradictory to #4. I don't want saying no to mean I stop caring about people. Like I said, school gets so hectic that it feels like I'm missing a lot. God cares about people, so I need to care about people. And I don't want to limit myself to other Christians. There are people out there who haven't had a single good experience with Christians. So I don't want to go out and preach and be insincere. I want to get to know the people Jesus would have hung out with, and learn how to get to know them. I want to be genuine. And I want to make the time to pray for people. I'm so sick of listening to the pain of people's hearts and not acknowledging it. For example: A friend says, "Hey my mom died..." And I give a generic, "Oh, that sucks." The End. That didn't actually happen, but I feel like that's how I respond a lot. Very coldly. I don't want to do that! So I guess #2 and #5 are really the most important goals I have for this year.

Well, here goes! Pray for me, please!!!

Determined

I learned how to play guitar my freshman year of high school. And I used to play a lot. I was even in an all-girls band, but we didn't have a singer really so it didn't work out in that sense. But we had fun just jammin' and playing cover songs and hanging out. Anyways, when I went to college, things changed. I didn't have a whole lot of time to play guitar. I played for the worship team later on freshman year, learning all kinds of fun new songs. I played with the worship team up until junior year. I just didn't have the time, and my skills are not that great so I didn't feel bad about stepping down so that the new and more experienced people could do it. Freshman and sophomore year it had only been me and CJ, and some other people once in a while, so I felt sort of obligated, too. It was nice to get some new people who were into it and could commit.

So anyways, I've gone quite some time, about a year, without having even picked up my guitar. I've just recently decided to pick it back up. Not because I think I'm any good. I just miss it. I miss being able to just pick it up and have fun. My callouses are completely gone, though. I've been playing pretty much all day today. My fingertips are screaming. I got too the point where certain fingerings just hurt so bad that I can't suck it up and get through it, so I stop mid-song. So then I'm forced to either take a little break, or else try again and hope it doesn't hurt the next time, which it usually does. It's like starting from scratch again. I have some muscle memory as far as how to play certain chords, but it's going to be a process to get back to where I was. But I want to play again, and that's enough to keep me going.

Or perhaps there's more to it. Perhaps I'll be needing to play for a greater purpose, regardless of my lack of musical knowledge or skill. Like when I was called to the worship team freshman and sophomore year. Even then I was able to learn from friends teaching me. That's where any of my skill comes from, just learning from people along the way. It's pretty cool. I don't feel called to the worship team for next year, but I am determined to keep up playing for something possibly after college. Whether it be the young adult worship band at WEFC, or just in my own life as a way to praise God.

I just need to be careful that whatever I do with it, I do it unto the Lord, and not unto my sinful nature. I am determined. Jesus be praised!

Longing for Paint

I left all my paints at school... in my locker. I miss them. I could really go for some oils right about now. Or acrylics. Guess I'll have to settle for watercolor in the meantime. Not that I dislike watercolor. I could just really go for those oils.

Gross. I feel like I've been on the computer all day. My hips hurt. Time for bed. And I really gotta get going on that wedding stuff.

Sigh. I'm really in the mood to paint.

Spring 2008 GPA

WOOO HOOO!!! 4.0 this semester!!!

Art History - A
Figure Drawing - A
Acrylic - A
Oil - A
Junior Review - PASS!

It was the Art History that really did it for me, because I never get perfect A's in those classes. I was so surprised and so excited. The lowest grade I've gotten was the first semester of freshman year, Intro to Western Art, with a B. But I had no idea what I was doing back then. God has blessed me with knowledge and an understanding of how to study for classes like that. And I get more sleep now than I did back then, another glorious blessing from the Lord.

Anyways, totally stoked about my first straight-A semester. So no, my overall grade isn't 4.0. I wish it was. That would be sweet. Right now my overall grade is 3.82. Hm... Maybe I should retake that class... Or not.

Today and the Other Day

It's really windy outside today. I haven't left my room yet today, but I can see from my window the trees thrashing about and birds wizzing around uncontrolablly. And I saw something random. A plastic bag rolling aroung the roof of a four story building. That's a long way up for a bagto travel, despite the wind, and considering you'd expect it to be on the ground, not a roof. Hmmm. Just a weird thing to see.

Something else I found random and strange...

The other day, I saw a guy try to light a dandelion on fire. He was walking, stopped in his tracks, and lowered his lighter to the fluffy, white flower, unsuccessfully getting it to catch. He gave up shortly and went on his way.

Today's agenda: study for art history.

Almost There...

The semester is nearing its end. One by one I've been getting things done. Tuesday night I gave my art history presentation on Audrey Flack. It went well, except that the teacher had to sort of rush me at the end because it was just about the end of class and two people still had to go. Poor planning on her part, I guess.

The first three classes of presentations were assigned eight people each, but the fourth night, my night, there were about eleven or twelve of us. And we didn't start right away because we had to do teacher evaluations. Then some of us went out to her car to help bring in snacks. Lots of snacks! (I still have left over cake in my room, as well as bags of chips and such. I also brought back a two-liter bottle of lemonade and large bottle of water.) After the entire class shuffled their way to the front of the room to get their food, which took a while, we finally started. So I was a little annoyed that I had to rush the end of my presentation after all the work I did on it, knowing that if I had presented on any of the previous nights, it would have been fine to talk longer. But whatever... I said what I need to say, and now it's over with.

Last night was my Acrylic review. I spent all day working to finish my final piece, but it didn't happen. Alan (my professor) was very understanding. He actually admitted I didn't have time to do what I set out to acomplish in that piece, as it was so new and experimental for me. He said it was an important piece in my artistic journey, even though it hadn't been successful, something I'm not normally comfortable with at all. It was a very encouraging and reassuring review. He said I'm at a good point as a junior, skill-wise, work-wise, concept-wise. So yeah, good review.

This morning, I got my figure drawing portfolio ready for tomorrow. I still have to tweek a couple things so it's ready to go, but all the main stuff is out of the way. Fred told me last class that he wanted to hang onto my work for the weekend so he could have it photographed for some catalouge the art school's putting together. I'm so glad I took Fred's class this semester. I've grown a lot. And I have been humbled very much by my experience in his class. God is good! I must have been praying in my heart for a better understanding of drawing the figure all those times I longed for it. What an amazing answer! Of course, there is more to learn, more ways to improve. In time. In God's time.

Finally, Tuesday I have my oil review and Art History final. Almost there, almost done. Just waiting for that sigh of relief.

Oh To Be A Bird!

Oh, to be a bird! Waking up early. Catching the worm. Flying to heights with a beautiful view. Defiling cars from those heights, just for fun. And not a single worry about driving in traffic to get to places on time. Just get up go. You and your buddies, who were awake just as early as you, are all on the way to wherever it is you have to be going. And when you get there, not only are you early, but there is much of the day left to do all kinds of birdly things. And you never worry about where your next meal is coming from because God feeds you, and you know it. Oh, to be a bird!

Living Simply

I think I would be perfectly content living without a lot of stuff. I know I don't have as much stuff as some people, but I still think I have too much. I'm still very involved with, and preoccupied by, technology and getting as much done in one day as I possibly can. But I know I'd be okay without those things. When I went to New Orleans last spring, I had to live with the bare minimum: shelter, a place to sleep, food, water. Yes, there was running water and electricity for lights, yet the daily routine was so restful and laid back. We did have a lot packed into each day, sometimes getting little sleep, but there wasn't the stress of rapidly going from one thing to the next. I was able to rest AND be productive.

We stayed at an old gymnasium that was connected to a small church. They had to hold church services in the gym part though because the flooding had caused so much damage to the sanctuary. As ruined and dirty as the entire place seemed, though, it soon became a comfortable, familiar, and hospitable place during my week-long stay. I slept on a cot at night. I loved it! In the early morning, some of us would meet for prayer in the sanctuary, with almost no light and no no chairs. Then breakfast would be whatever they were serving. And it didn't matter to me because I was just grateful to have food. After breakfast, we'd make our sandwiches and bag them for later. Then we'd go to the work sites. I learned how to do sheetrock and did that for a week staight at the same house. Again, I loved it! We'd break only for lunch. Then the bus would pick us up and bring us back to the church, where we'd hang out and take showers until an early dinner. Again, I'd eat whatever was served. There weren't a hundred meal options to choose from. It was nice not having to think about it. After dinner, I'd hang out until the evening Bible study. Then I'd either stay and chat or go go to bed. Such a wonderful routine! Start the day with God, serve with God, end the day with God... and no internet access, no meetings to attend, and no stressing out over work. To live that simply was my earthly Utopia. When I got back to campus, I was disgusted with how much stuff I had, and how dependent I was on the computer.

The thing that sparked this thought happened tonight when I returned to my room after a long day. I had packed my computer for class earlier, and so when I got back, I didn't take it back out right away. I just made myself a cornbeef sandwich for dinner, sat at the empty desk, and ate. I didn't do anything else. I simply sat and ate. No internet, no phone, no homework, just dinner. It was relaxing. But of course, I felt the need to blog about this wonderfully simple experience. See? My dependence on technology. Yuck. And I check my email like ten times a day. And it's late now, yet I had wanted to go to bed early.

I want to live simply... and with less stuff.

Good night.

God Through the Woman in Yellow

It's amazing how God can use one seemingly insignificant situation to bring you back to Him. Other people might bring something to you over and over, trying to get you to see the error of your ways, not because they are out to get you but because they love and care about you. But being the stubborn, prideful monkey that you are, you don't really let what they are saying to you soak in enough to effect you. You know they are concerned, yet you are too stubborn to admit they are right. So out of your own stubbornness, you continue on the way you've been going, regardless of what you know to be the right way.

Then God Himself comes and gives you a push. Subtle, yet so convicting. Through someone I don't even know, and may never know, He showed me the severity of the choice I was making not to spend time with Him. It's funny how a direct message won't cause you to budge, but then the indirect happens and you just get it.

Praise God!

No Run-All Circles and Two Pieces

I woke up early this Monday morning to go run, and just like almost every other day since I've started the group, no one showed up. And being the unmodivated scaredy-cat that I am, not wanting to run alone, I went back to the room. But the morning was not a complete waste. No, it was quite nice outside this morning. The air was cool and fresh, and there were birds chirping. Also, despite my sleepiness and lack of physical endurance building, I did manage to come across twenty-one cents along the way. A dime on my way down the back stairway, eight pennies scattered on the front porch of Konover, another penny in a parking space nearby, and two more in the grass on the way back. To add to the pile was a penny I'd found some days ago, still waiting in my coat pocket to be dealt with. So I cleaned up my findings and fed them to Penguin. He was quite satisfied.

On another note...

Praise God! I got a call last night from MCC about two illustration pieces I submitted over the weekend. They both made it into the show! Totally wasn't expecting that. I remember thinking, as Adam and I left that Friday night, after handing them in, that I shouldn't have bothered. I had seen other artwork in the room that was probably being submitted, and it was all so good. And I saw the long list of other pieces entered as I wrote down my info underneath them. I was doing that self-doubt thing again, telling myself I wouldn't be suprised if I didn't even make it into the show. I'm really not good enough, I thought. How could I possibly compete with so many other artists who are probably all ten times better than me? What have I gotten myself into? And then I regretted putting anything in. Now here I am, trying to find a ride to the Opening/Awards reception for Tuesday. So yeah, PRAISE GOD!!!

Although, I'm still doing the doubt thing. Not about winning. I don't care about winning, really. But I wonder how harsh the judging was. What was the judge looking for? Technique, draftsmanship, idea, composition, execution? How much was taken into account? Did they have a gallery quota to fill? Was I one of the last choices to fill it? I was joking with Adam that the only reason I got in was because they saw an acurately drawn ear in one piece and glowing watercolor eggs in the other, both compliments of Dennis Nolan.

Dennis is one of my professors. He's always stressing the importance of being able to draw the ear the right way because there are so many artists out there who don't know how. As far as the eggs go, I had no idea how to paint them when Dennis gave us that assignment, and he showed me what colors to use and how to use them to get the right effect. I've learned a lot from him.

Still, I tend to doubt my abilities as an artist. Couldn't tell you why. But praise God! I'm in the show! I think it might be His way to encourage me and reaffirm the abilities He's gave me.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
-Psalm 139:14

Hard Words

I'm not very good at speaking. I have a hard time with words. I like words. I know words. But when it comes to using them when I really need to, I can really mess them up. And the way I process doesn't help. I usually don't have everything thought through as much as I'd like, but it takes me forever to process my thoughts and if I always waited until I was completely done processing, I would never get anything done. And there would be a lot of very impatient people. So sometimes I end up processing out loud after processing in my head for a while.

Do you ever have those conversations that you know you need to have with a person? The ones that are not really easy. Actually, they are very hard conversations to have. Some people are good at the confrontation thing. I'm not one of those people, unfortunately. But God has been growing my sense of maturity and responsibility. This year has been one of great change for me. Instead of brushing problems aside, problems that I might have with other people, He's been teaching me how to approach them out of love. Not just out of love for them, but love for myself and for God. It's gotten to the point where I make sure to make time to talk to that person, no matter how hard it will be. Sometimes it's an anger issue, sometimes it's a jealousy issue. Once I can address the emotions getting in the way of loving someone as I should, it is easier for me to think about the situation more clearly, for what it is. Or at least more so than I would have had I not processed through it first. God is good.

Still, making that move to finally talk to them is always the hardest, because there's no guarentee that the way things go in my head will happen in real life.

Sigh... I'm working on it.

God is good.

Once upon a morning...

Okay, so I don't remember writing half of the last entry. I'm still tired, but God is good! And here I am, awake at almost 11am, still with nothing much for sleep. Mandy prayed with me this morning. It was a beautiful prayer, and very humbling. I'm going to try to enjoy my day praising God for all that He does for me. Even as simple as waking me up every morning.

(I'm not really in a good mood anymore now. Stupid cell phones. Stupid technology.)

Can't Sleep

I went to sleep around 12am or 1am. I awoke around 3:something AM. The room above was booming with voices, and my head was swarming with thoughts. It still is. Nothing in particular, except maybe on tomorrow nights performance. The air is so dry here. For the past two years I've been telling myself to get a humidifier. Still nothing. I wake up all the time, unhealthily thirsty, on the verge of a coughing spasm because my throat is so parched. And with little aid from the water bottle awaiting its use on the stool beside my bed, I somehow manage to drift back into sleep. But only for a short time before waking up to answer nature's beckoning call.

Tonight, however, there has been no drifting back into sleep. It's 6:30 in the morning and I just haven't been able to sleep. So here I am, having given up trying to get comfortable for the past three hours, typing a blog entry about it.

It's still dry in here. I still can't sleep.

Other random musings...

The people upstairs are still awake. I thought about calling in a noise complaint, but in my consideration for others, I decided I didn't wanted to call the RA's at such an ungodly hour. Yes, I could argue that it's their job, but I'm not like that. I know they're students, too. And I don't have Friday classes so it's not entirely severe.

It snowed last night. I walked in it. It was pretty.

There's a kid in my acrylic class illustrating himself with a pickle for a nose. Ew! I hate pickles. And I thought that if there were some kind of life-or-death situation in which I had to eat a pickle, I would still have a really hard time doing it. I tried to eat a pickle for money once. That'll never happen again.

It's still really freaking dry in here. Water isn't helping. At all. One second of relief, then back to a mouth full of sand.

If all the world's a stage and all its people players, who's doing tech crew?

Well, it's definitely light out. Quarter 'til 7. Time for another attempt at adding sleep hours onto the only one or two I have.

Sigh.

A New Challenge

So, I'm taking another figure drawing class this semester. I got totally hooked on it last semester and thought it in my best interest to keep up with it. Now I'm taking it with Fred Wessel, who has a very different approach to the figure. Not a better or worse way than I learned from Doug Andersen, just different. Doug focuses more on proportion and structure of the pose, and how to shade the forms right so everything fits together the way it's supposed to. Fred started us off with gesture lines, as Doug did, but even more so. He is very much into the spirit of the pose, and the poetry in the movement of the human body.

I think it's a good thing that I'm taking Fred's class after Doug's class. Because I've gotten the figure down better now, and know how to make the forms fit together better, I'm having a blast just going with the flow. But there are still some key things I want to work on. Like, the male figure. I do okay with long poses, but when it comes to gesture drawing a male figure, I tend to make it very curvy and feminine looking. And I want to get better at differenciating between the female and the male hips/pelvis. And forshortening is always a challenge, especially on shorter poses. I want to get better at spotting the position of the ribcage in those complex poses, as well as the angle of the shoulders and hips. AND... I've gotten quite comfortable with charcoal and toned paper. I think it's time I stepped outside my comfort zone, and into another area of criticism and improvement.

Onward to the figure!

Watercolor

Okay... So I normally don't post my real artwork here because I don't want to seem show-off-ish, but I've had such a rough semester and today was the last day of it. And if I'm going to be an illustrator, I should probably start breaking the habit of being nervous to show my work.

Despite all my troubles with learning how to use watercolor, I did alright. My review went quite well this evening. Dennis even wants me to bring my work back next semester for photographing. And the final piece I did, my best piece of the four, he thinks has a chance in the Society of Illustrators competition. Could he be anymore encouraging!?

I wish I had a scanner and a better color correction program, but I don't. So the digital camera had to do. Doesn't really do the color much justice, but I tried to at least brighten them up a little so you can at least see them. They are in order of assignment. The last is the one Dennis liked the most.


Had to make an animal out of fruits and/or veggies. I think the carrot stems were my favorite to paint. Yay for dry brushing!


Had to recreate an old master's work and replace the head with that of an animal. I don't think I could have picked a more complicated piece. This was based off of Michelangelo's The Prophet Jeremiah from the Sistine Ceiling.


This assignment was to compose a scene from an opera. I chose Cosi Fan Tutte by Mozzart.


Finally, an egg. That was it. Whatever we wanted, but there had to be a recognizable egg in it. I did multiple eggs. And no, I don't know what it is. It hasn't hatched yet.

Figure Drawing!

I'm supposed to be working on an art history paper now, but I've wanted to write this entry for a while. So, procrastination ensues...

This is the first semester I've had a figure drawing class. I'd drawn the figure before, in other drawing classes. But this was the first time I had a class completely dedicated to studying and drawing the figure. In the beginning, it was just another class, just another model to draw. I've never considered myself particularly skilled at drawing the human figure. My proportions are usually a little off somewhere, or a form doesn't fit quite right into another. Always something I can't see until my professor points it out. And it's a constant frustration not being able to see for myself what I'm doing right or wrong. I've always been amazed with the beauty and grace of the human body, in all its various ways of moving and holding a pose. So to not be able to capture that elegance as an artist, to not have enough knowledge or delicacy of hand, would leave me feeling disappointed and doubtful of my own abilities.

This semester, however, I had a breakthrough! At some point I just started getting it. My forms started looking more accurate than they ever had been. My shading improved a great deal. And my proportions, better than they ever have been. I was learning to draw by doing just that...DRAWING! And not just by drawing anything, but by drawing the same thing. The human figure. Over and over. Each and every class. I know I learn things better by repetition, but I'd never really thought about applying it to my art.

I eventually began leaving class feeling very satisfied with what I had accomplished in those three hours. Last week, as I flipped through my drawings from class, I noticed the gradual improvements as I neared the latest ones. That was exciting! Then Doug, my professor, even mentioned to me personally that I'd been improving, that my forms were really fitting together. That was even more exciting! Toward the end, I actually looked forward to figure class. I even got brave on Monday and moved my stuff all the way to the opposite side of the room so I could test out my new "powers" on the most extreme angle I could get, with the figure very foreshortened in a lying-down pose. I very much enjoyed myself.

And it has nothing to do with drawing a "naked person." No, it's so much more than that. For me, I just get stuck in my own little world. Drawing, meditating... just being. Being, with a stick of charcoal in my hand. Being, with my eyes on the beauty of light and shade washing over the human form in all its splendor. Being, with a heart that praises God for such beauty. It was nice to finally find a place to just be.

Today was my last class to draw from the model. :( When I walked in and saw the couch set up, I moved all the way to one side again, thinking I would have another foreshortened pose. But, to my disappointment, the model chose a leaning, seated pose. But I still had fun! Next week we are having our final crit, where we choose our best/favorite piece, while Doug chooses our worst one and puts it up next to the good one. I'm nervous and excited at the same time!

Anyways, I think I'm newly obsessed with drawing the figure. I'm signed up for another figure class next semester, too. Woo hoo!!!

A Room With A View

It's been a while, I know. Rather than using this blog during the semester, I've been journaling in a small sketch book. Not just writing, but many other things. It's been a place where I can do whatever, wherever, and whenever. I can take it with me and scribble among the pages as I see fit. I've try to do something everyday, even if it's not all that creative. I want to get into the habit of making certain things a daily practice. I've slacked off for far too long. What kind of artist would I be if I never actually made art? So my little journal has held priority over this blog as of late. But here I am, for now. It's nice to come back to this once in a while.

This year I'm rooming in the back of F-Complex. There is a beautiful view from my window. At least, compared to previous semesters it is. Some people might not find anything too great about looking out at buildings and a few trees everyday. And true, it's nothing spectacular. But every morning, I am in awe of what God shows me.

For one thing, the sun comes up on my side of the building so that every morning the sun shines, it comes right through my window. Also, there are some trees off to the side that have been reminded by the season to change the colors of their leaves. I'm on the second floor, but from the back it's really like three floors up, so I get to look right into the tree tops. They are lovely, especially when that morning sun shines through them and the leaves sparkle and glow. My favorite is this red tree whose leaves are so bright in the sunlight that not even the greatest of painters or photographers could capture the essence of beauty it has. Sometimes I just stare at it, admiring the work of the Greatest Artist of all.


Another thing I am blessed with just about every morning is that I get to watch the birds. Sometimes crows, sometimes seagulls, and sometimes rarer birds like bluejays and woodpeckers. I watch them fly around, landing in the trees to perch for a while, or just resting a moment before flying off again. Again, maybe not the coolest thing ever to some people, but I've become increasingly inspired by birds. I think they are such amazing little creations of God. I've had to draw parts of them for previous ilustration assignments, and have since become drawn to them. How they fly, how their wings work, all that underlying structure stuff that I find fascinating. There is also a beautiful hawk that flies around campus from time to time, and I am so in awe when I am fortunate enough to catch it in flight, right overhead. There have also been a few special moments God has given me with this magnificant animal.

So...yeah. I like the view this year. I am so blessed! Oh, and I want an owl skull someday. Their ears are asymmetrical! How cool is that!

Clues

(I'm not sure which blog I'll mainly be using to post art on...)

These are a several of the clues I made for Adam's return home (see last post). Unfortunately, both our plans got very turned around by the time he got back, so it didn't go exactly how I wanted, but it all worked out in the end.

The original picture for one clue, which I made out of magazine cut-outs, tape, and the like.


This is what it looks like now. The middle piece on the top row is darker because I had it in the oven and my sister happened to make cookies without seeing it there. I had been sleeping so I was unable to save it, but it seemed to be okay anyways. Woot!

These are some of the other clues, not in any particular order.


This one you actually have to read in a mirror.

Re-Creative

(Yes, I posted this entry on my other blog, but it's such exciting news for me that I decided to post it on both blogs!)


(It didn't scan as well as I would have liked...but here it is!)

Just when I thought I lacked any creativity whatsoever anymore, or the modivation to stick to anything I start, I had this spark, an immediate urge to create. It came yesterday and so I took out some old carpet samples, and scrap materials from a sculpture piece I did last year, in an attempt to make something with them. I started working outside on the picnic table until the weather forced me to move indoors. There isn't much of a place for me to work at my house, as far as art projects go. No one comes home and sees my stuff as work in progress; they see it as a mess. So I spread my stuff on the island in the kitchen, a surface my dad really dislikes being cluttered with stuff. He wasn't home, which I took advantage of. When I reached the point of just not knowing what else to do with the little door piece I had created, I moved onto something else.

I had typed up some clues for a quest-like thing for Adam earilier in the evening, and so I went back to print and cut them out. I've made those... "quests," I guess I'll call them... before and always have so much fun thinking up clever ways to get from one clue to the next, even having some clues hidden online or with a friend or family member. The clues theselves can get quite involved, or at least I think they so (Adam's pretty good at figuring that stuff out). Typically, the clues are typed out or hand-written and most of the thought goes into where and how I am going to hide them. Last night, however, I thought it would be fun if I gave the appearance of the clues a little more attention. With this newly rekindled drive to create something, anything, I was willing to do it.

The very first clue I made was really what inspired me to make all of the clues specially. It started out slow as I tried to figure out what to do with it. Instead of leaving it in it's very straight forward, typed document look, I decided to cut out the lines of type and tape them onto calligraphy paper. Then I just started adding stuff, experimenting. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

Of course, the intriguing idea to do all this did not come until around nine or ten o' clock. So I ended up pulling an all-nighter, not wanting to lose the counter space, which I surely would by morning when my dad came home. But also because I was afraid that if I didn't keep going while I was in the zone, I would lose interest the next day. And I didn't want to lose the ideas that I had at only that moment, ideas I did not know how to write on paper because half of them were experimental on an as-I-went basis.

My favorite experiment was sort of an accidental discovery. Glue had not been working too well and was taking a lot of time. Normally, I would take the time to make it work if I had to, but as much as I was on a creative spree, I lacked the energy and, in turn, the patience. I grew achingly exhausted as the late hours of the night turned into the chilly, early morning hours. Anyways, the discovery I made happened when I had laid out the computer paper stips of text on top of the calligraphy paper how I wanted. I then attempted to apply the tape, but the static of the tape caused the strips to "jump" off the paper and cling to the tape before I had put it down. I was quite annoyed when it did that because I had to carefully pulled the strips off, which made them curly and harder to work with, and reposition them.

I think it was the second clue I worked on that the discovery happened. I found that when the text-covered, little strips were pulled away from the tape, they left behind a layer of ink, allowing the tape to act as a transparency, like the ones used for overhead projectors. And all I had to do was stick it to something, the text being visible, the tape not so much. I ended up using more tape than I thought I would when I started. The nice thing about it is that the original text was being removed from the paper completely, provided I was careful not to rip the tape away.

I'll try to get some images of the clues while I have the scanner available. But for now they are still hidden as Adam has not don't the quest yet. I'm just hoping he doesn't read this before then. These images, on the other hand, are the envelopes to the cards my dad got for my cousins' graduation party today. He asked me to write the names down and have everyone sign them, everyone being me and my two sisters. Eventually, I found myself doodling little designs in the corners. Then I broke out and just had fun with them, creating little scenes and characters.

Although I wasn't aiming to make masterpieces out of them, I felt the simple creativity of it was enough to be meditative or theraputic for me. I don't know how long I worked on them, but by the end, I had worked it out so that each envelope would match up with the other two. I thought it a shame to let them go without saving them in some way, so I used our scanner for the first time. I'm not sure it picked up the blue ink all that well, but you can still get the idea.





I'm quite happy about these few, recent little projects I've taken on, especially because it's on my own time and not deadline time. I hope this is not merely a passing creative bug.